i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
