party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
