I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
handjob tips. give me some.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
