I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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