she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Found your dick twin last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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