my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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