She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
