Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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