Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
