boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
