Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
