yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
