when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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