I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
