i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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