its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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