D3 body, D1 cock
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
