somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
