do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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