so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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