He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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