I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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