I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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