I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
