I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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