I wanna bring you to show and tell
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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