I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
