Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Enjoy the penises
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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