Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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