There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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