Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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