I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
