im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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