Whod you bang
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
