So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
