We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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