why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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