hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
