Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
