He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
