Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
