just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
