just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize