well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
