I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
