Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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