I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize