haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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