also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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