I am puke
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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