cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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