you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
