She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
