is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
