this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
