i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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