I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
