She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
