he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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