Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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