Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
