So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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